Tuesday, April 20

My thoughts Tonight....

I see my life as a blank page from the past where too much has already been scribbled on by the so called destiny, or god or whatever one calls it, and is written in such a fashion that no two sentences make sense together.

I see myself as a frail rot, someone who dreamt dreams in galore waiting for them to relish one by one but are still jammed in to embark one.

My pals feel the kind of work and life I have is very uncommon and not everyone is lucky enough to have one. But I hate myself for this messed up, transitory but long lasting moment, this life I live, which looks perky and luxurious but quite precarious and extinct from within.

Ironically, knowing all the facts and still pursuing this life has not only become too monotonous but quite mechanized obsession for me. I characterize myself for being nothing less to a ZOMBIE!!!

I know about this and yet I cannot change it. It’s not I don’t try; it’s just that I fail before I even try.

Is it the dissatisfaction feel I get in whatever I do, is it I am not interested in doing what I do, or is it the relativity of the name, money that either the society or I seeks to sink into my brain when I compare myself to my acquaintances for the kind of life they live and envy about it, is it something inexplicable but predictable about the whole situation which urges me to scribble tonight. Whatever it is, it’s like a termite that just wants to eat me in and out!!!

Every night before I go to sleep, a haunted cord strikes telling me about the moth life I posses wherein I get slowly pushed to the negative radiance of “meaningless life”. I do not struggle to fight back for the survival instead be a defeated warrior who lost the battle long before it got started.

I pour all my thoughts here because, sometimes I feel, I stammer to say all this to others and do not expect someone to listen about all this. So the bottom line still remains the same, that, “no matter where I am, what I am doing, I am still waiting to smell real SATISFACTION!!!”

Read what happened when i met William and his family in South Africa here.

13 comments:

  1. nice thing u have written ma friend..........................seems very innovative style of writing..............u have a long way to go yet..........................i do agree with u that satisfaction is the end of the need to do perfection.

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  2. @ Anonyomus:

    yeah thnx buddy...thnx for the appreciation

    n yeah sometimes u know u feel like that this is the last step for the final success and then u find out there's 1 more to cover and it never ends...

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  3. Rahul bhai..

    kya baat likhi hai apne..

    Your writings are my all time favourite..'Mahesh'

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  4. arrey mahesh bhai...thanku....bus kirpa hai aapki....

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  5. hey rahul..like it ,like it , like it...

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  6. hmmmm nice one......just like to say.....there are no failures...just experiences and u r reaction to it....and these experiences wud make u a wiser man....

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  7. Yeah Megs, there's no deny in it...i don know but i do feel some void in my life...

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  8. Ravan Or Ravanan - Reviews Go Rave @ http://bit.ly/dktKiE

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  9. Make the most of what there is.
    Live life to the fullest. Nothing more, nothing less.

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  10. Beere!!! long time re...!
    Hope lifes been good....

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  11. i agree with u gayatri...but kabhi kabhi nahi ho paata....

    anoop beere, life's...i would say...is been more of a bitch factor for me....anywayz....how's life at ur end

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  12. dude,
    Lyf is like this only... You can expect it to b smooth... there are always some diversions and stoppers on the road named life.. u just need to know how to handle it and then see how good it is.. and i read it somewhere long back which says, the best gift from life is life itself.. so cheer up and keep rocking!!! :-)


    sorry for such a late reply..

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