Thursday, March 13

Cogito Ergo Sum

The first quarter of 2008 will end in a month from now. I stand apart from everything, bewildered, confused and happy on a sad note the way life has turned out for me since the start of New Year. Many things that I cherished and felt happy about have almost vanished and many others which I never dreamt-off in the rarest of my thoughts have suddenly sprouted in the drought stricken mortal machine head. I won’t call it a roller coaster experience as the change was not something for which I should feel good about but was more of a stress buster from the usual, more precisely predictable routine I followed till 2007.
Right before the dawn of new year was about to set in, the tag of being single hung around my neck again and before I could come out of it, the new year presented me with not so fortunate mails of not making into any of the management colleges. Well, past it’s been and turned out more of a junk but I’ve revived myself for a better piece of junk in this new January. I started writing blogs wherein I thought of sharing my feelings to all the anonymous souls out there, because of two reasons, first, the ones in relations are meant to ditch you at some point of time and secondly needed a new someone who can better understand the feelings of a frustrated soul. So now I write and keep blogging irrespective of anyone’s interest in reading my articles. Reading was there from childhood but took on to more of nonfiction stuff this year. And in music too, there was more of a heavy metal buff becoming a part of the songs library, I started listening Iron Maiden, Megadeth, Jimi Hendrix, john Meyer and many more. And above that all, I arranged for a time-slot in my daily schedule to go to Gym. Daily workout for two hours made me explore more of myself, I even moved onto a controlled diet and daily running. Let’s see how long it continues. Anyways, besides all this, soon I realized how I am making a fool of myself by sitting for too long in front of the idiot box wasting energy and time so I switched to a better option of interacting with another one, I mean, the computer. I wonder sometimes, what happens when two idiots interact? So, the pen was gradually replaced by the keyboard. I decided to re-learn French, which was a long uncherished dream of my alma mater to make every student compatible to at least one foreign lingua other than English. Daily, I give French tuitions to myself. (Very soon will be hitting with a new blog on how to learn French at home). Besides, all this I decided to move to different places and explore the beauty, the nature, god has created. I went to places like Pondicherry, Munnar, Kodaikannal, Ooty etc.
The frustration built within was going away with the dusk of 2007 so I took onto more and more creative stuff (creative for me might not be creative for the reader). But, Now, I feel more relaxed and comfortable in my own world. How can I forgot my friend’s wise advice because of which I started worshipping god (thanks Anshul), irrespective of the demented life I had in past years. This definitely added to my smile. Know what, the best feeling you get is only when you help someone poor, when you empathize with someone, I decided to help all those needy who came for any help to me. One should feel very lucky that god has chosen him/her to help the unprivileged souls. I even joined a foundation that helps poor by lending service and time out of their busy lives for god’s children.
Well, I must have got into many tasks all at one time, but am surely enjoying this new life in a new year and with new things around me yet unexplored. I feel now I am what I am and will remain like this forever.

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